Please Note: Whereas respective and hitherto all future offers not inclusive henceforth valid or invalid throughout the expiration period of 12 months/24,000 miles or till hell freezes over, whichever is not the lesser, vouched for and authenticated by notary or reasonable facsimile with feminine facial hair. Management may from time to time give written notice of amendments to this policy. Any such amendment will automatically become part of this agreement 30 days from the date of the notice unless otherwise stated in the notice. Management will bill you quarterly as you've requested until such time as you have forgotten what you have already paid and at that time we will bill you a monthly amount or settle for a lump sum in excess of that total.

 

- Please read DISCLAIMERS before going through our checkout process -

 

​DISCLAIMERS include but are not limited to: These designs do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; content copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute it and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the in commercial endeavors, rebroadcast is prohibited without without the express written consent of Major League Baseball and the President (US); other copyright laws for specific products apply wherever noted; if you have an erection for over 4 hours call your friends to brag; products are subject to change without notice; are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only; tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, flatulate, or spindle; your milage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted; provided without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; Pat. Pend. U.S. Reg. Off.; toll rates may apply; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity non-employer; no shoes, no shirt, no joke, no shit; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered do not attempt to fix them yourself but return to an authorized service center; caveat emptor; consume at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics: may contain material some may find objectionable, parental guidance is not advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family; no wholesalers please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; Ken doll not included; gluten-free; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit or 6 feet; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; insurance regulations prohibit recipients from entering the area without an escort; smoking these glass designs may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard second only to abstinence is the careful mis-use of product; materials used are made from 100% recycled electrons, neutrons, and sub-atomic particles; no animals were used in the testing of these; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested do not induce vomiting if symptoms persist consult a veterinarian; glass is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only where offered; slightly higher west of the Rockies; even worse under florescence lighting; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic events, earthquake, flood, war, other Acts of God; misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts; customer adjustments and incidents owing to airplane crash; ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents; leaky roof; broken glass; falling rocks; mud slide; forest fire; flying projectile; dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. if symptoms persist seek medical and/or psychiatric attention; Oh yeah... and if something offends you.....LIGHTEN UP!